Patrick Tape Fleming

Within about five seconds of hearing this week’s song, Rudy was already questioning my judgment.

“Why the hell did Patrick pick a Carole King song from the ’90s? Out of all the Carole King songs to pick from.”

Well, Rudy. I have my reasons.

My older sister Becky Fleming Gacke had a baby when she was 19, so while I was spending much of my younger life going to shows, she never really got to do that. In fact, her first real concert wasn’t until she was in her 30s... when she got to watch her little brother open for Pavement The Rock Band at the Uptown Theater in Kansas City.

I brought her and my other sister backstage into the VIP section that night, where my sister Becky proceeded to eat some cake that, unbeknownst to her, had weed in it. Not a bad first real concert experience.

But strangely, despite never being the early concertgoer in our family, my sister has been responsible for some of the most profound musical memories of my life.

When my father was just minutes away from dying of cancer, members of our family were gathered around him. Maybe an hour before he passed away, Becky played Carole King’s “Now and Forever.”

Carole King had been there for basically my parents’ entire lives.

They were kids in the early ’60s when songs she wrote were pouring out of radios in the voices of other artists. They graduated from high school in 1971, the same year Tapestry arrived. Her music was woven into their lives together... forever.

And then, decades later, she wrote this beautiful little song for A League of Their Own that my parents absolutely loved.

So my sister played it for my dad. It was the last song he ever heard in his lifetime.

My mom was crying. My sister was crying. I was bawling my eyes out.... Way to close it out Carole.

And I don't know how you separate a song from a moment like that. I don't think you're supposed to really.

To me, “Now and Forever” is perfect. Simple songwriting perfection like only Carole King can do.

Becky did something similar at my grandmother’s funeral a couple years later. They were about to lay the flowers on the casket out at the cemetery.. when suddenly Becky pulled out her phone and started playing... I shit you not.. Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.”

Everyone basically had the same expression: What in the fuck is happening right now?

Becky in a very teacher for life voice.. said, “She wanted this!”

And knowing my grandmother.. the biggest jokester imaginable... This request that only my sister seemed to know about? I think she picked that song specifically because she wanted one final opportunity to look down from the cosmos and watch everyone wondering why in God’s name Becky was blasting “Sweet Caroline” at her graveside.

Thanks Grandma, one last joke for the road.

Rudy started our conversation thinking “Now and Forever” was maybe a little too cheesy. But as we talked about it, and about my parents, my dad, my sister, and the strange power songs have to attach themselves permanently to the people we love, I think Rudy started falling for it too.

Sometimes a perfect song isn't perfect because of a chord progression, a production choice, or some brilliant melody.

It's perfect because of where it was... when you needed it most.

One correction from the episode: I confidently said Madonna’s song from A League of Their Own was “Take a Bow.”

It is absolutely not. It’s “This Used to Be My Playground.”

Apparently I’m just always thinking about “Take a Bow” because I love that song so much and it's epic matador music video.

And, of course, Madonna once lived in the same college dorm room where Rudy lost his virginity.

Speaking of Taking a Bow in what Used to Be His Playground...

You can now listen to the brand new episode Perfect Songs Forever here...

Big thanks to Dave Gebroe for creating the best deep dive music podcast in all the land.. Discograffiti